My Blog

What can i say, yes am still here with all my dreams…

stuck in my own head n faith

fuck… ass hole…

There’s a song that’s inside of my soul
It’s the one that I’ve tried to write over and over again
I’m awake in the infinite cold
But You sing to me over and over and over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands
and pray to be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours
I know now you’re my only hope

Sing to me the song of the stars
Of Your galaxy dancing and laughing
and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that You have for me over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you’re my only hope

I give You my destiny
I’m giving You all of me
I want Your symphony
Singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs I’m giving it back

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you’re my only hope

huhuhu…

Old song, but I love it….

I just love it….

if only… hiks…

I will dedicate
And sacrifice my everything for just a second’s worth
Of how my story’s ending
And I wish I could know if the directions that I take
And all the choices that I make won’t end up all for nothing
Show me what it’s for
Make me understand it
I’ve been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
Is there something more than what i’ve been handed?
I’ve been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
Help me carry on
Assure me it’s ok to use my heart and not my eyes
To navigate the darkness
Will the ending be ever coming suddenly?
Will I ever get to see the ending to my story?
Show me what it’s for
Make me understand it
I’ve been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
Is there something more than what i’ve been handed?
I’ve been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
So when and how will I know?
How much further do I have to go?
How much longer until I finally know?
Because I’m looking and I just can’t see what’s in front of me
In front of me
Show me what it’s for
Make me understand it
I’ve been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
Is there something more than what i’ve been handed?
I’ve been crawling in the dark looking for the answer

Faith in everything…

Buat apa berharap kalo ga bisa dapet apa2, kalo g bisa apa2…
ow.. man, what is a life without faith?
to cope everything taht’s faith. when u feel that u dan’t have anything, hope, dream,
one thing that can save u is only faith.

ga ngerti ya, cuman aku percaya banget kalo segala sesuatu yang terjadi di dunia tu udah ada yang ngatur.
Yups, Allah SWT yang maha baik itu udah atur semuanya.
well, cethek banget emang klo ngomongin skenario Tuhan cm mpe dsini aja.

Gini niy, banyak emang cerita motivated yang menunjukkan bahwa ya kalo kita yakin pasti bisa.
Tapi untuk beberapa orang, cerita-cerita kayak gitu nggak mempan, ya beberapa orang itu termasuk aku.
tapi aku bikin rasionalisasi lain. gini, yow aku percaya banget kalo semua sudah diatur sama Sutradara Maha Besar
dan sang Sutradara itu Maha Baik pula, Dia ga akan biarin hambaNya punya harapan kosong. That’s the point.
So, klo aku pernah punya harapan atau suatu cita-cita, aku yakin banget kalo saat itu, aku punya kesempatan wat ngedapetin,
but then apakah aku benar-benar ngedapetin ato enggak, itu tergantung alur cerita yang aku jalanin,
and whatever it is, ada sisi lain berupa keyakinan ada lahan belajar yang disebut melepaskan di dalamnya.
so, when aku g dapetin itu, y emang aku harus belajar wat nglepasin.
kalo emang aku ga pernah punya kesempatan wat dapetin itu, ya aku g akan ada rasa pengen atas hal tersebut.
Iya sih, melepaskan itu sulit, anyway so far menurutku , belajar yang paling meaning selama hidup adalah melepaskan,
karena ada banyak penyakit hati yang dilawan disitu.
Yang paling kuat sih, kesombongan manusia, ada iri, dengki yang ilang kalo kita bisa ikhlas.

Anyway, keikhlasan bukan cuma melepaskan sesuatu yang udah didapet, tetapi juga yang belum didapet,
ini sulit emang, disaat berusaha ngedapetin juga harus berusaha rela kalo nglepasin.
This is the real mencintai tanpa pamrih.

Unconditional Positive Regards, if Lord do this to us, why we’re not?

If I die tonight

Verse 1
If I die tonight
What would I do
On my last day
I know I’d wake early
In the morn’ for crack
Of dawn’s last pray
Then prolly go for breakfast
Like I used to do
Fried kuey teow FAM
And roti canai at Raju’s
With my boo
And friends from way back
Neighborhood homies
Extended fam
They only know me
As that same cat
With that shaved head
Rocking Cross Colors
Sneaks to school
Writin’ rhymes at the back of class
Playing tricks on fools
Then I’d come back to the crib
Tidy up a bit
Y’all know my room’s messy
Though classy
Start arrange my ish
Line up my shoes one by one
Start with Jordans
And end with them Air Force Ones
Put a Post-it on the tongue
Of each one
With the name of each dun
I think I know my homies
And who would want which one
Get on the phone
And holla’ at everybody
It’s nearly noon
Gots to have lunch
With the family
Then spend the last day
I don’t know
Try do a million other things
Hoping somehow
Time will slow
I guess what
I’m trying to say is
Take everyday
Like it was your last
Work towards your dreams
Before you pass
And have a blast
While you at it
‘Cause we don’t know
When we go go
So make the best of it
Just keep it real to yourself
And to all people
If y’all lost somebody before
Remember there’ll be a sequel

Chorus (2x)
If I die tonight
You know it’ll be alright
Just smile for me
Reminisce the fond memories

Verse 2
Well if I die tonight
I wonder
Where I’ll be tomorrow
Nobody cry please
Push away the sorrow
‘Cause I ain’t been
The best of men
The best of friends
The best of mom
And daddy’s last son
The best of anything
Tell Joe here’s a last one
If I die tonight
Would I be forgiven
By all the people
I been slackin’ with
When I was livin’?
Those who I hurt their hearts
Took advantage of
And even lied to
Hug you one last time
For forgiveness
Yeah I would like to
If I die tonight
Would you feel the loss?
Tomorrow would you dial
My number by accident
Then suddenly… pause?
If I die tonight
I wonder who would get
To keep my caps and shoes
Jerseys, even my little
Stuffed crocodile Coco too
Get my cell phone
Message everyone from A to Z
Tell ‘em this ain’t Malique
He passed away last night
And pray he rest in peace
If I die tonight
Would you think of my room
When you see blue
Wanted to clean it up this morning
But then I never knew
If I die tonight
What would happen to Tim
How long would it take
Before she kissed another man?…
God damn…
At fast food joints
Would she still order
The same combo meal for two?
Things I wish I knew…

Chorus (2X)
If I die tonight
You know it’ll be alright
Just smile for me
Reminisce the fond memories

Verse 3
A cute lil’ thing
To many eyes
To me you were simply
A beautiful thing
I tell no lies
We went from
Mere invisible friends
To pals real tight
Rendezvous up on the net
To chitty chat all night
I used to pick you up
Until you got your own ride
A slammin’ two door whip
A grey 36-72
Lookin’ all slick
Remember when I asked why this
You said because it’s real fast
So you can rush
To see your boy after class
The last time
We met was ‘01 September
You left feelin’ upset over… something
I can’t remember…
I never apologized
Till January 10th 2003
When I heard you passed away
When I was deep in my sleep
Your loss taught me
Not to take my friends for granted
Misunderstandings
Gotta slam it quick
Death you never plan it
You’re sorely missed down here Wawyn
Rest in peace
This too shall pass
But our true friendship will never cease…
Love…

Chorus (till end)
If I die tonight
You know it’ll be alright
Just smile for me
Reminisce the fond memories

By: Too Phat

Don’t you ever wish you were someone else, You were meant to be the way you are exactly.

Don’t you ever say you don’t like the way you are.When you learn to love yourself, you¹re better off by far. I hope you always stay the same,cuz there¹s nothin’ ’bout you I would change.

I think that you could be whatever you wanted to be If you could realize, all the dreams you have inside. Don’t be afraid if you’ve got something to say, Just open up your heart and let it show you the way.

Believe in yourself. Reach down inside. The love you find will set you free. Believe in yourself, you will come alive. Have faith in hat you do. You’ll make it through.

wew lama betul ga ngisi blog.
yeah, mumpung sempet isi aja ah…
here i am now, couple days to graduation, huh meaningless
i dont really feel sumthing special, too much in my head…
to worries, to think about, to describe, to deffense, to solve, to cope, to analyze
what can i say, it’s not really that culmination for me. i failed
i failed to make it the best
i failed to make it worhty to show up..
but anyway thats from my frame only, for them, am great how pethetic i am cant know my self completely.
hell with my dream
consider their expectation!!!
am tired (sumtimes)
what??? tired? no!!! i cant be tired, thats d things ive to run. thats d dynamic of d life.. hiks…
for my weakness GOd, please lead my way.. heading to ur almighty, ur love, ur protection, to stay on ur way… on ur way only

Antara Psikopat dan kekacauan ego Management

dia memang tampan, keren, terawat tutur bahasanya halus, meyakinkan pembicaraannya berat,tampak sangat pintar, kadang aku ga ngerti dia ngomong apa dia bisa banget bikin aku jatuh cinta dengan sangat cepat tapi dia lebih bisa membuatku menderita dalam waktu yang lebih sangat cepat dan setelah itu aku hanya bisa mengatainya ……psikopat kucrut! meaning dari seminar akbar nasional psikopat niy, di Gd. balai kartini baru, 21&22 Januari 2006. Psikopat..psikopat…psikopat awalnya biasa aja, ngeliat acaranya…ummm… aku bisa dapet apa ya dr 200rb?setelah ikut mpe slese, ternyata baru ketauan meaningnya. untuk Dr. hare, thanks 4 giving us brand new point of view. psikopat bisa dimana2 man. lebih dari itu, jadi tau gimana sih sosok kehebatan Dr. Lucky, ibu tieneke (d nice Mom), si kembar lucu Dr. hasan&husein. smuamuanya deh. termasuk bisa ikut kuliah ibu suprapti Markam(ga nyangka bisa kuliah sama beliau). hoho what a great experience to know them. yang paling ok, foto2nya dong manzhab!!! after all, makasih wat P.sarlito yang ngasih rekomendasi…

Percaya nggak percaya
wah hari ini amazing bgt… nggak biasanya aja.
emang si hari ini kuliah pagi-sore alias cuma jam pertama kedua trus jam ke7-8 aja. rencananya si mo ke perpust trus pulang mo masakin makan siang adek2ku yg teng tlecek (ibuku lg k jkt soalnya, jd urusan makan memasak di hibahkan pada anak sulungnya yang dasyat ini). e ternyata ke diginya kelamaan.. mumpung nemu yang dicari siy(can’t wait any longer to deal with it.. umm…:p )
begitu nyadar ternyata udah jam 11.oo hwaaaaa kalo ga inget adek2ku bakal keteteran kalo aku g masak, aku lanjutin aja deh tu ngenet mpe kuliah konsumen.
4 d sake of morality niy…. finally aku emang harus pulang…. ngebutlah dengan sangat tia waktu itu, tp alhamdulillah bisa nyampe rumah denagn sangat selamat, trus ngebut pula masaknya. cuma oseng2 rempelo ati siy, tapi kan lumayan tuh dalam45 menit ekspress bok. asal jangan tanya rasa aja, meskipun rasa adalah segalanya hahahaha
belom pernah lo sekalikalinya dalam hidup seorang tia ngebut pulang cuma buat masak trus balik ke kampus lagi wat kuliah… dahsyat bgt yak!!! udah berasa ibu muda aja hahahahaha